Patience is a Virtue

by DJ Glitterpussy

Most people attempting to hail an elevator will see its slow-moving closing doors and panic. They then stick an extremity out in an attempt to keep the doors open, thus ensuring them a timely ride to their destination. Sometimes, a patron already on the elevator will have the wits and reflexes to hit the “DOOR OPEN” button, or to put their own extremity in the way of the closing doors. However, this is rare, especially on crowded elevators. Because I am odd…I like to wait in busy lobbies and wait for this situation to arise, that is, I wait for crowded elevators with slow closing doors. When I see a full car’s doors closing, I make a mad dash towards it. Just as the doors are closing, instead of my arm or foot, I use MY HEAD to stop the doors from closing. I then over exaggerate the pressure of the doors and pretend my head is being smashed. A little cherry candy will turn your saliva red and give the illusion of major head trauma. It is important NOT to actually get on the elevator (make sure you use your arms to close the door after your performance, its quite easy to do). It will leave the people on the car terrified. Next time, they will think twice before trying to shove things in front of closing doors. Its important to remind people to excercise a little patience…#elevatorsarefun