Don’t Half-Ass It

by DJ Glitterpussy

Sometimes when I see someone running at a great distance towards the elevator, I can’t help but to get excited. The possibilities of potential outcomes are endless. Will they make it? Will they miss it? Will someone attempt to halt the elevator for them? Will the social norms of elevator etiquette be too much for everyone to handle?! Whenever I see this person running to snatch the elevator I make sure they know I see them.  I then push my back against one of the elevator doors to ensure they don’t close. I get down low and in a panicked voice I yell at the person, “HURRRRY!!” The person usually attempts to hurry. I then make my eyes really big and look past the person coming towards the elevator and make a shocked/scared look. I then yell, “HURRY!! THEY’RE RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!!” I wave them towards the elevator. At this time, they look over their shoulder and hurry even faster, sometimes looking panicked. There is also a feeling of panic throughout the whole car as the patron enters the car. I then act completely normal and ask them, “What floor?” Its important to remind people that if they are going to do something silly, like run to catch an elevator, they may as well do it wholeheartedly….#elevatorsarefun